Rough night.

And it wasn't because William was up multiple times crying, or because Amelia refused to go to sleep and stay asleep. 

No...it was because I read this article, filled with sorrow, anger, acceptance and grief.  (Warning: you need about a box of tissues and a glass of water to get through it all.  That's not an exaggeration or a joke.  Don't say I didn't warn you.)  The Google-aholic in me found out this morning that the article won several awards, including the Pulitzer.  Well-deserved, for sure.

I cannot imagine waking up to life as a widow every morning.  I was terrified to go to sleep last night because I have been having pretty intense nightmares lately, and was scared to even dream something like this.  An unfinished life, so many what-ifs...it was just too much for me to bear last night.  And so, while I cling to the knowledge that Paul is relatively safe, and the landscape of an aircraft carrier is nowhere even close to the landscape of Afghanistan or Iraq or anywhere else our soldiers are, it still hits just a little too close to home. 

I promise to post happier things, I truly do.  I guess just not today.