Everything is just fine, until...

I try really, really (really, really) hard not to whine or complain about Paul's deployment.  There are some who would just tell me, "Well, you knew what you were getting into when he joined the military."  Which I disagree with, but that's besides the point.  No one really understands what it's like to say goodbye to your husband (or wife), who is headed to a warzone for 7 (or more) months, unless they've actually done it themselves.  So to say, "Oh, I totally understand how you're feeling," when you haven't done that?  No.  For that reason, I don't really share much of my misery, whether with friends or on Facebook or whathaveyou, because there are very few who actually understand.  Plus, I'm not really looking for sympathy, and I don't want to open the aforementioned, "Well, you knew this going in it..." can of worms. 

And honestly, most days are really good.  William and Amelia keep me very busy so lots of the day is spent chasing them around and playing, and the hours pass by relatively quickly.  But there are certain things, just random events, that catch me off guard and send me spiraling into a pit of sadness.  I'm sure it's pretty normal.  And I also assume it's better to have these moments than not...because what would that say?  That I don't miss my husband?  So I guess this post is just a vent.

WOW.  Was that a ramble?

Everything is just fine, until...

1. You're driving and see a car exactly like your husband's, and get that excited feeling in your stomach because maybe, just maybe, it's him, home early to see you!
2. You're in a store and catch the fleeting scent of your husband's cologne. 
3. Your daughter tells you for the 12151839th time today that her daddy is "on a ship!"  No child should have to go so long without seeing both parents.
4. The weekend comes.  And you see all kinds of families WITH daddies, out having fun.  Paul hasn't been able to enjoy a summer with us since Amelia was a newborn.
5. You check, daily, the Donut of Misery.  It's only going to tell you how much time is left of the deployment (and it's a lot...)
6. You wake up in the middle of the night after a dream of your husband that was so real, and are super sad it had to come to an end.
7. You realize there are still so many holidays between now and homecoming.
8. And speaking of homecoming, you see pictures and video of other homecomings, and they make you so happy and so sad at the same time.  Because homecoming?  So. Far. A. WAY.

Wah me, right?  I know.